When you feel guilty, you are in one of the two:
- you feel guilty about something – you’ve done, you have not done
- you feel guilty towards somebody
It is mainly your inner regulator telling you “Guilty!” more than an external factor. And that’s why you are the one able to figure out why”, and change it.
Guilt is love repressed.
You would have loved to have happened to you that “little” event you are feeling so guilty about. And you would have loved to tell the person you feel guilty towards, you loved them.
If that was said and done, there’d be no guilt, as guilt is a missed act, usually of kindness and love. Love for you, and love for another being.
You may have been told “This we don’t do!” and “Smart … beautiful, kind, peaceful, intelligent, etc … people don’t do!” … as much as you’d like “to do”, “to like”, “to feel”, to try that experience, this very fact will stop you. You will transform in an “act-of-God” thing, “it just has happened”, “it slipped my tongue” … it happens, and then you feel guilty, so to be able to face the shame.
You may have been trying to tell people you like, and love, that you liked and loved them. They may have been harsh on their response, they may have ridiculed you or the very like&love, and maybe the persons you liked and loved were not approved of by your significant ones … so the like&love was swallowed inside.
The guilt will prompt you to tell them. After, though, you’ve done a wrong-some to them, like and excuse, or a reverse of the wrong. And it will not be enough, the longing you’ve felt remaining the same.
Revisit the situations when you felt guilty. Or better still, be aware of it when you feel guilty next time.
If it’s a person, accept that you like&love them, in spite of all those who said “no waaaay!!!!”. Accept that you like them. Feel all the feelings that liking and loving will bring to you and surface the protection you’d put up. Accept. And you will never feel guilty again.
If it’s a situation you’ve caused or not caused but “should have”, something you feel not so eager to accept and take ownership for, admit the possibility that you’ve caused it like intentionally – what would it mean to you? What benefits does it bring? What if there were no “hard feelings” or “strings” you feel attached, and you can simply enjoy the truth, the new friends, the new opportunities … things you have denied yourself.
Admit and accept that this is something you have longed for, and now you are able to do. FINALLY!
Give yourself the love you deserve to allow the things you want, you are curious about, happen. It’s liberating, it’s true, it feels you.
