You are not in the flow. It is not supposed to be hard. It is supposed to be fun. And love.
When it is against the flow, it is hard. It is tough. Things go “wrong”. The “wrong way”, all the way. As long as you’d like to stay afloat, it is “difficult”, it is a “strain”. You (need to) fight.
As much as you’d like to go “up”, the flow is down, the abundance is down too, where “the river grows”. Go with the flow. It needs much more connection to the “flow” than staying afloat going up. Change your focus, change what you think you like. It may be difficult at start, once you’ve decided it becomes natural. Stay centered, unchanged in your decision, and just let it go, go with the flow. It might be unknown, unsecured, yet you know.
